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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Reality Sucks!

My prayers became more intense and pleaded God to show his “special gift” before my age suffered a convulsion, but as days rolled into months and into years and into a decade, still no Prince Charming is visible in my horizon. Until my longing became a real agony. 

Confusion and bitterness started to invade my tired brain. So much so, that when I spotted an opportunity to be closed to a good guy, I wasted no time. Well, that was a sort of eagerness that plunged me more to severe anxieties and heartaches due to a wrong footing of assumptions. That was so crazy and funny and stupid.

I tolerated the messy circumstances because I was on the verge of losing patience with my uneventful destiny. It was so messy that sometimes sent my mood to purgatory. Well, It appears to be perfect at first that I thought God played favoritism in me and granted everything I requested.

You know when the shades of light...the bright morning...the leaves...and the raindrops... suddenly shimmered with unrealistic sparks, when the tiny details about that person that are insignificant to others seemed fascinating to you...well...that’s what I thought about L-Love...urrgggh!..crazy stuff about love. Without thinking these silly thoughts had nothing to do with reality, I mean with the opinion of the "other person".

Of course life is what we make it and we are responsible of our own happiness, we are free to make our own choices where we could be happy...that's what he did exactly...a decision that should be respected...of course...

It was so silly to think but I misinterpreted his intention of just establishing a pure friendship. So pure he felt grisly and seemed horrified when I asked him about "emotions--little crazy, useless emotions", Jesus! he felt like running around and screaming with thunderous words like "yucks help me, I don't like this girl!"

Gosh! It sucked..and my self-confidence faltered to the bottom of my self-esteem. Everything fizzled that day. Life sometimes played tricks and deceptions, but the most important thing is, I discovered these crazy games and charade before ruining every dream I am capable of building...but I never regretted the night I launched my missile, er, my stupid inquiries, because it finally released my mind from anxieties. 

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authorI am a blogger from the Philippines. My interest centers on travel and food, global affairs, European royals and self-help. I've a great passion in traveling and photography. I am also a book author with five published books in Amazon.
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